Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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