Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
