i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize