eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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