Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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