Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
