ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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