let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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