my text book just quoted the cookie monster
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
