i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
