News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
