i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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