Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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