we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
