you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
