her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm both gender and math confused
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
