remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
