Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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