im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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