I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
