Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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