hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
