know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize