I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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