Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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