My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
