I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
