It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
