I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
