we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
