marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
