How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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