Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
