just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
