My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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