So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
