i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
