I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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