I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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