Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
