I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize