wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The power of my boobs compel you
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
