just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
