it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
