I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
cat food counts as protein by the way
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize