Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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