one two three fourrrrnication!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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