If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
