Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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