lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
