You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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