Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The adults are the big ones right?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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