"it" just moved
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think i got beer on your cat.
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