PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
