I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
