Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
