Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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