so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
