i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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