I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
