I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
