Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
