I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When did angry sex become our thing?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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