Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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