just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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