They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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