im six kinds of drunk right now
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
