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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
