would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
