I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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