pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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