New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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